Milady must be watching over me.. It feels as if weeks have passed since I last sat down to write in here, but alas it was only this morning when the last opportunity was found. So much has happened in that short time. So much. We had a fight break out between some of the already present Soldiers assigned to Stirhan and one whom traveled in with us today – the small Halfling. The hastily thrown together interrogations of those involved followed once the primary participants in the fight regained consciousness.. and I feel as if all these small events ultimately led Stirhan to it’s current smoldering state. Yes, smoldering. Before any of us even had a chance to outfit ourselves to even remotely appear as competent Soldiers the Outpost came under enemy attack, and fell shortly thereafter.
The Army that came was comprised of several different species – some Lizardfolk (and several distinctions among them,) some of what I have come to hear called “Gnolls” – large man-sized and dog-like creatures. Between the sheer numbering of their forces, and several (who knows how many, truly.. ?) powerful magic casters within their midst (or leading them.. ?) our small garrison was no match. I feel terrible for having had to leave my first assigned station. So many lives were lost, and while I did my best to seek out direct orders from my Captain I feel as if I let all those who perished down. As if I could have done so much more. I fear I will not sleep well tonight, nor for the next few days as I shake off this feeling. I know the opportunity will present itself to redeem what I may unfairly judge as a “failure.” I feel it. The Sword-Lady would not allow me to be sent somewhere that my abilities would not be used. There is a reason I am here, there is a reason she humbled me into accepting this enlistment, and I have Faith in the manifestation of these things.
As I finish this passage I have one final thought – remembering those who have gone on before me this day. To those who were innocent in combat that lived in Stirhan, I shall remember thee. To those who were brothers-in-arms who perished trying to meet the enemy’s attack, I shall remember thee. And to Elembor, a simple Elf who shared the travel to Stirhan with I, and to whom fought most valiantly of us all during our stand against the oncoming army .. I can only assume you did not make it out alive as I have not seen thee since the blast of fire that destroyed that gate we guarded. To thee .. if I am given the chance as we change our focus now, I will send in thy direction those who caused your last breath.
May Iomedae watch over us all.